Hi there . I am writing because through doing so i might Encourage someone . Before i gave my life to Jesus My life was miserable , i was a Drunkard, a liar , an immoral person bound by all kind of sin you can think of . I was tired of that life but i couldn’t change Myself .
Everyday i would promise myself never to do it again , and later i would find myself deeper in sin .One day i found an outreach near where i lived , the Pastor was preaching about Salvation and repentance , He said that Jesus can forgive any sin .I was touched , i wanted to try Jesus , when He called for an alter call i was the first one to move forward and receive Jesus .
God is Good , the following day , the urge for alcohol was gone, cigarettes gone and that of immoral life was gone , and i was at peace with God and Myself .I was so excited , i would tell everyone what Jesus had done in my life and many of my friends accepted Jesus .
My life completely changed , spiritually, emotionally and even financially .
Along the way , trials started coming my way , i found myself, by the grace of God resisting sin and the devil would free . I was and i am still in a bible based church and i have good leaders and friends .
The bible says its wise to seek counsel , this area i really failed , and i found myself slowly going back to my old life , when i fell in sin i didn’t share it with anyone not even my wife , slowly by slowly i found myself entangled in sin again .
Life in darkness will be exposed one day , its better to come to the light before you are exposed , and that is what i did because i wanted to be free . i came to the light and confessed my sin to my wife and to my leaders .Its was a very hard time for my wife , she didn’t know about my sexual immoral life and when she learnt about she almost went Mad , she was heart broken , it was a painful process that she had to go through and God did the miraculous and healed us once again .
Deal with the little foxes in your life my friend or they will destroy the vine . As we continued to heal , trials came again , there were skeletons from the past that i had not dealt with properly by bringing them to the light and by Gods grace* they came up again and the trust that was being made was broken again . what a tragedy .
God was still with us , our Leaders really helped us to go through and within a short time God restored us , the scars were there and the memories but we found solace in the word of God . we started to find pleasure in one another and enjoy our friendship like before.
All this have happened in a span of 3 years since i first confessed of my promiscuous behavior and my wife forgave me .
A few weeks ago , a Tsunami hit us again , i opened the door for the Enemy again and he made sure he revived the past . This time it was not physical nor intimate but what i did i flirted with girls online , God convicted me , i repented and changed my ways but i never told my wife about it , so this day she wakes up and goes to our home computer and finds that i have not logged out from hangout and Facebook and she decides to check . what he found was so bad and to make it worse i never told her about it.
As i write this today , she is asking for a separation/divorce , She wants nothing to do with me , i have asked her for forgiveness but she cant hear any of it . she is bitter, in pain and hurting .I am really sorry for hurting her and making her go through all these .
As i write am remorseful because of sinning against God and trampling under the blood of Jesus , i have repented and left the consequences in the Hand of God .i believe nothing is impossible with Him .
I don’t know what will happen , i leave it with God but i want to warn you my friend , who is reading this , Stop playing with Sin , your sin will surely find you out if you don’t repent and turn away from it . It will wreck your marriage , it will destroy your kids and destroy you . The devil is not your friend .
Pray for my Marriage that it stands . Pray for me because i am weary and feeling defeated ,
God is Good all the time .
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