I am now 53 years old by God’s grace. As a teen, I was violated several times by men in my town that I either knew from my parents or I was their babysitter.
As a young adult, I was desperate for a man to love me. My dad was the type to show me, love. I married more than once trying to get that perfect love that I didn’t even know the reality of. I had 2 daughters and raised them best I could while still seeking approval and love for myself.
I have spent 30 years as a nurse and pour my heart into my patients care and loving being a caregiver. My children were grown up for the most part with still struggles to raise troubled teen and then my dad lost his leg and I had moved to Georgie, just before that for a life change and a chance at life with a new guy.
The guy got emotionally abusing and I packed all I had in my car along with my teenage daughter and moved back to my hometown and lived in with parents to take care of my dad and my mom. One night while I was sleeping and after a long talk with my dad and finally he showing me live, he shot himself during the night, and mom and I found him the next morning. I felt like I was not going to ever cope again. Mom was disabled and so hurt and lost without the dad. With my sister’s help, we took care of mom until she died 3 years ago after many struggles. I watched her suffer to the point it was killing me inside. They were all of a sudden both gone and I had to find me again.
With God seeing me through each day I made it and I’m strong. God had me a few days with dad and his sickness and loss of his leg conducive to his emotional opening up to me for the first time. My children are grown and doing well, I have one grandson and one on the way. Finally, the man that God gave me who shows me the love I have always desired.
All that I went through was so hard, but it made me the strong person I am now, and I know that with God’s love I will do many more great things.
—Barbara